How To Use SEL To Your Advantage: Understanding and Managing Emotions During Adolescence
It may seem simple, but managing your emotions is one of the biggest differences between a well-adjusted, responsible adult and someone still maturing. Being able to receive unfortunate news, which is inevitable in life, and handle it in a responsible manner shows that someone can stay calm under pressure and think in a rational, reasonable way.
However, even full-grown adults struggle to keep themselves composed and collected, so it can be especially difficult for young men going through the trials of puberty and adolescence in conjunction with substance use or dangerous behaviors.
Knowing how to stay calm and carry yourself the right way makes a huge difference to a young boy’s quality of life and outlook on the rest of the world. So much of someone’s personal experience depends on how they interact with their environment. If they have a healthy relationship with those around them and operate harmoniously, everything else they do will not only be more enjoyable, but also easier to handle—especially with the support of the community. This applies to work, school, social situations, and more.
Let’s dive into why identifying how you’re feeling and thinking before you react is important for young men as they grow into adulthood and can help them avoid drugs, alcohol, and other dangerous escapist habits.
What Is Social Emotional Learning (SEL)?
Social and emotional learning (SEL) is considered a vital part to living a healthy, fulfilled adult experience. Knowing how to manage your emotions and read social situations helps you accomplish goals, realize dreams, and conduct yourself properly in society.
Many young boys dealing with difficult situations through family, work, or school, will often go to escapist dopamine fillers to deal with pain or sadness. Many of these habits, such as alcohol, drugs, pornography, and excessive video game use, jeopardize their future and send them down a dark path with large repercussions.
If a young man approaches a social situation with a calm point of view, they can then look inward if something doesn’t go according to how they expected or if they find themselves in a tough or stressful scenario (like all people inevitably do at a certain point). Looking within and thinking through something allows them to analyze it, register how they’re feeling, realize what is appropriate within the context or environment, and then proceed in the proper way.
Taking the time to do this correctly presents themselves in a better light to others and, over time, leads to a more preferable outcome for them as well. By controlling their emotions, they can react in a manner that’s appropriate and rational, helping improve the situation and advancing their cause. If someone were to act in a poor way without thought or controlled emotions, it would only make them look worse and lead to a negative result. Difficult situations are more likely to drive people, especially immature young men, to bad places. These places can lead to detrimental habits.
Some people have a harder time managing their emotions than others, but practicing curtailing negative thoughts is possible. Here are some techniques everyone can use to help keep emotions in check.
Leadership Qualities: Learning And Practicing Leadership Skills To Help Individuals In Social Settings And Internally
Even if you aren’t in a leadership position, understanding leadership qualities and learning to use them to your advantage in everyday life helps contribute to emotional regulation. Leading others requires rational and objective thought in the face of conflicting personalities and difficult situations. Here are some key traits of leaders to work on if you want to improve emotional intelligence.
Leadership Qualities Related To Emotional Regulation
Here are some of the biggest attributes of strong leaders that help with regulating emotions.
Adaptability: Being able to roll with a difficult scenario and not only understand, but also accept, that things might not go according to plan is a major part of being a mature individual. Once you accept this as a universal truth, you can start reacting to conflicts or problems in significantly more rational ways.
Prioritizing Relationships: Being able to relate to others and hone relationships isn’t only a valuable leadership skill, it’s also important for everyday life. Inherently understanding how to connect with others makes you feel more fulfilled and happier. Try to talk to people whenever possible and empathize with their needs by getting their perspective. You never know what others are going through—learning more about them helps you make better decisions and understand emotions, including your own.
Communicate What You Want To Happen: Even if things don’t go according to plan, being able to communicate effectively can help you in almost any situation. Additionally, talking things out helps you let out negative emotions and handle them in a healthy manner. Practicing this over time helps you develop a habit of expressing negative thoughts in a positive way, both improving your mental health and anxiety and helping you arrive at a solution.
Listen To What Others Have To Say: This goes in conjunction with connecting to others, but a major part of team building and leadership is being a strong listener. Taking the time to talk with others about what’s going on in their lives can help you gain a stronger perspective of what people are going through and then help you look at your own issues in a whole new light.
It Starts At Home: How Parental Guidance Can Help With Emotional Intelligence And Management
So many problems teenagers or young adults face today could be improved with understanding and involved parents and guardians. So many kids feel isolated as if they’re taking on the world alone without any guidance. By talking, listening, and seeking to relate to a younger person, you can help them make the right decisions that are best for their future. Controlling emotions is one of the best ways to help.
Here’s how parents can set their children on the correct path.
How Parents Can Help Children Develop Their Emotions
Skip The Judgment: The easiest way for parents to help their children is to avoid passing judgment or making them feel bad for a particular decision. If they do something unhealthy or wrong, don’t shame them—look for ways to help. This way, they’ll be more inclined to come to you for advice going forward.
Set A Positive Example: Children often take after their parents when it comes to behaviors and actions. Being a healthy influence with emotions and demonstrating a positive way to act can help adolescents develop strong emotional habits into adulthood.
Support, Support, Support: It feels simple, but providing unquestioned support and love to your children is the best way to keep them on the right path. Helping them along and influencing them to do the right thing goes miles towards their future development. It can be tough to sometimes regulate your own emotions, especially when you want to care for your children, but it can be helpful for sending them to the right area.
When Young Adults Don’t Have a Positive Influence, Teen Counseling And Assertiveness Training Can Help With Overcoming Adversity And Emotional Expression
While having a positive parental influence is the most effective way to put kids in a healthy emotional state, unfortunately, not everyone has that opportunity. Counseling and assertiveness training is an excellent way to ensure that kids have every opportunity to live a healthy life.
Assertiveness training helps people advocate for themselves and express what they want in a healthy manner. Being able to stand up for your needs in a positive way can help you go through life and work well together.
Assertiveness training does take practice. Young adults can work with a therapist to analyze how emotions affect them and take steps to manage them in the proper way. Additionally, teen counseling can help kids express their anger and negative emotions in a more appropriate manner, helping them relieve stress and expressing themselves in a positive way.
The Carpenter Shed Is More Than Experiential Therapy
At The Carpenter Shed, our passion is helping misguided young men find their sense of purpose, meaning, and direction. We take a directive approach and recognize that a bigger trauma is often behind poor behavior—it’s our team of therapists and positive male role models’ jobs to help them uncover that trauma, address it with emotional coping strategies, and help them practice healthy masculinity.
Experiential Therapy programs also help people express their emotions in a healthy manner, but we take things a little bit deeper. Learning about someone’s background and what motivates them helps us get to the root cause of stress and distraction. While regular experiential therapies teach people to manage emotions, we do this in addition to discovering the reasons behind the tough emotions. This sets our young men up to not only deal with emotions in the moment, but also minimize the impact of trauma in later life.
The Carpenter Shed Is Here To Help Young Men
The future depends on having young men that perpetuate positive masculinity and become positive role models for others. We help misguided young men by improving their psychological well-being and helping them deal with emotional trauma.
If there’s a young man in your life who could benefit from The Carpenter Shed, get in touch with us and let’s set them on a better path.
Sources:
22 Essential Leadership Qualities You Can't Afford to Miss
Effective Leadership: What Makes a Great Leader
8 Ways to Becoming a Better Leader
Managing Strong Emotions: A Guide for Parents to Help Themselves and Their Children
13 Ways To Manage And Control Your Emotions And Become A Better Parent
